Even when we know it's unhealthy, Why do we struggle with letting go?

It doesn't seem to matter if we can see it's unhealthy for us – be it a toxic relationship or an unresolved dispute. It still feels all too complicated releasing those things we feel emotionally connected with.

What's pulling at you right now? It could be a relationship, a long held grudge, or perhaps it's some kind of dream or aspiration that has turned into a nightmare.

For many of you parents out there, it could be struggling with your kids going off to college.

For others it could be letting go of a goal or milestone, especially if it's causing negative feelings within.

Why do we struggle with letting go? Because we refuse to accept things as they are beginning to become.

Control – well, the illusion of it, turns so many minds from relatively serene, to absolute nightmares, all because the unconscious belief we should and could control events as they unfold– that even includes, past and future events.

So, here's a little three step process to get you started:

Step 1: Understand that control is an illusion. It's merely a perception you're holding onto, to try and find some sort of solace. But, remember, you have no proof of your control. You can't control other's actions – you might hope to. You can't control the weather and YOU definitely aren't making the sun rise in the morning – and that's ok. The world has been spinning for a long time without your control, don't worry

Step 2: Allow things to reveal their positive nature to you. Yes, I know you didn't want things to unfold quite like this (see, no control), but, hold the belief that if it's happening it's going to work out for you. Optimism is powerful!

Step 3: Accept the very nature of the Universe - constant change. Nothing rests for too long and everything is always evolving into something else. You don't need to control it, it's perfect as it is.

By letting go you aren't saying you don't care about something. What you're really saying is: "I can recognise I have no control over this. I might like it if 'this' happened, but ultimately I have to let fate (or whatever) do its thing."

Try existing in a state where you give your all at all times. You look out at the world with optimism And last, imagine yourself as a champion gymnast, tackling change with aerial flips and cartwheels. Then you'll begin experiencing the peace you're craving – and you will have begun the process of mastering letting go.

Todd Savvas is an international spiritual teacher and mystic. You can find more of him and his daily teachings on his Instagram @toddsavvas or his website http://toddsavvas.com for more information on private guidance, Feng-Shui and house cleansings.