Community, Diversity, Sustainability and other Overused Words
Community, Diversity, Sustainability and other Overused Words
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Prison is a small city, both in physical layout and in how it operates. You have ghetto areas, higher class areas, drug-addicted clusters, etc. So, its not a far stretch to see how crime would be and is committed on a regular basis. All types of crime. As I told you in my article 'Baptized By Fire,' many brutal crimes go unreported. Others, like myself, are left with traumatic memories. Stuck between a desire to help stop this and my own self preservation. Maybe by unlocking my memories and...
That's right. Jpay is out as the prisoner email provider! A brand new deal between CDCR and www.gtl.net is in place and signed. This will widely expand the tablet program, allowing the use of inmate tablets and email service for ALL prisoners in every state prison and fire camp in California! Starting in April, each state prisoner will begin receiving their new, free tablet from gtl.net! Presently, only 6 prisons in the state have tablets! Now all prisons and fire camps will have it. No doubt...
Your state of mind. Where do you see yourself?? For me, a prisoner who will be out there with you in less than 4 years, REENTRY is a state of mind. MY state of mind. Once I learned that I was never the same. I now wear reentry like a second skin. What am I talking about? Let me tell you. I once had no hope. None. I was walking dead on the inside; I cared about nothing. I was numb. I had felt so much pain that my pain level was at the max and I shut down. It was so bad that nothing mattered. I...
There was a female serial rapist. A female serial rapist, a prison rapist, raping women in a women's prison, VSPW, while I was there! She was big. She was ugly. A black female. Tall, a bit older. She looked the part. She went in and out of ad-seg due to receiving SHU terms serious violent incidents. Her series of rapes began before I even came to prison. It continued as she came out of the SHU and landed in the unit I was in. I was a unit worker called a 'porter.' I saw the name on the daily...
I owe the Governor Gavin Newsom a huge thank you for my Moderna vaccine!! I suppose I'll begin by telling you the Moderna vaccine has been given to me and my fellow prisoners several days this week here at CIW. I got it. However, I'm not going to take the 2ND dose! My decision is made firmly on that . I don't trust this vaccine. So, I'm not going to second base with it. I'd say MOST women refused the vaccine in my unit. So, we now have 3 buildings on the yard on quarantine. So, no classes will...
It might surprise you to know that until about 6 years ago, I lived in here in the prison environment in a state of despair. I was unmotivated, unfocused and waited until 10 years in to begin doing drugs. My parole board date was too far off in the distance to think about. I did not allow any of the thriving prisoners to mentor me because I did not trust anyone. I believed I was happy in my bubble. I had accepted what I could. not have: HOPE. Then, California voters passed a ballot proposition...
I doubt many stop to ponder what types of issues a prisoner might be dealing with during this pandemic. Unless you know someone in prison, why would you? We actually have a lot of the same issues, you and I. Our schools are closed. Our store is out of a lot of things due to supply chain disruption. Many of us can't go to work due to quarantine. We can't have visits with anyone. Many of us are addicts in danger of relapse. In prison, a lot of things come down to sheer will and how determined you...
I just don't know how anyone maintains any interest in fiction when real life is so damned riveting. I have a dilemma on my hands. Should I practice the simple principle of forgiveness? Or should I file a suit for personal injury?? I know you have a thousand questions, so let me explain ... I'm a seizure patient. I have been for a long time. Last week, I suffered a seizure and, per medical standard procedure, from the floor where I lay, I was placed on a stretcher and taken to the waiting ambula...
I sincerely wish a Happy New Year to you, Santa Monica, and beyond!! I do not let the fact that I've been on almost one month straight of 23 1/2 hours in my cell a day keep me from at least trying to have a positive and outlook and attitude. Guys, I won't lie, I'm struggling to see positive right now. Sensory deprivation is a hard thing to go through. That's why it's usually used as a punishment. That's also why it causes PTSD and induces mental illnesses in people. I'm not the same person I...
Since Covid-19 began, many basic needs go unmet. We face extreme lows. Not knowing when it will end. Wondering if you're in a nightmare. Is this an endurance test? Is this war? Am I being mentally water boarded? Is this only prison? I'd rather deploy to a combat zone. See, I'm on almost a month straight of "quarantine" AKA lockdown here at the California Institution for Women in Corona, California. This began December 2nd here. Why? Because prison staff carried Covid-19 into the prison, AGAIN....
Prisoners assigned to kitchen jobs cook all the meals for the entire institution, under staff supervision, of course. It's been this way since the prison industrial complex formed its authority over mass incarceration. So, prisoners cooking daily for prisoners is the norm. Well, since the quarantine of most of the California Institution for Women in Corona, California, this has left a dramatic shortage of inmates to run the kitchen, as well as other areas of the prison. How did they manage?...
I want to first give you a quick update. It seems that I spoke too soon about the man in my life. Dom. He was not my long-awaited love after all. No matter. I'll be free soon! All that glitters is not gold. Yes, I was saddened and disappointed. I've simply erased his pictures and I'm movimg. After all the pain I've overcome, nothing will stop Amber. The best is yet to come. So, there's quarantine, then there's quarantine (lockdown). This is the latter. The head of the Department Of Corrections...
If the amount of positive tests in my housing unit mirror the entire California Institution for Women's prison population's stats, then this prison is experiencing what can only be described as a Prison Covid Super Surge!! As you know, I'm a prisoner at the CIW in Corona, California. I've lived in the same unit since long before the worldwide Covid-19 pandemic. I'm loath to keep on writing about Covid-19 related issues. I'm sick of thinking about, talking about and hearing about the Covid-19!!...
Please help me!! Yes, I'm on a quarantine. Day 10. And yes, I'm losing my MIND!! Nearly 2/3 of my housing unit tested positive for Covid-19 over this past week!! Two out of every 3 people! So, those of us who are negative for the Covid remain on "quarantine, "which is equivalent to lockdown conditions. I'm on the verge of insanity!! Now, I am not worried about catching this Covid! The toll this lockdown and quarantine are taking on me are overwhelming!! It's beyond belief. I'm struggling...
Here we go again. For anyone just now tuning in, I'm located here at the California Institution For Women in Corona, California. Earlier this week, all California state prisons were placed on quarantine and began mandatory testing of all state prison inmates... My housing unit got tested 3 days ago. Presently, my unit has about 85 women. It can hold 120. Anyway, I had a sense that Covid-19 might be present in my housing unit. There's been a lot of coughing in my building lately. So, yesterday,...
As of Tuesday Dec. 1st, all California prisons went into a "quarantine" lockdown coupled with mandatory testing of ALL inmates. This is to brace for the covid-19 surge impact. As Governor Gavin Newsom essentially locks down the entire state, he labels state prisoners among highest priorities in receiving the coming vaccine doses, according to multiple news reports. Will you take the vaccine? I doubt I will. But, thanks to the Governor, I have that choice! Thanks, Gavin!! You Rock!! Now, if you c...
I love sharing stories of what I've seen in prison. I strictly only share what I've seen with my own eyes. I've seen everything you can imagine happening in prison. And some things you never thought of. After 16 years in, you name it, I've seen it. The look of disbelief people get is worth it! The most traumatic experience of my life was not something that happened to me but something I witnessed. Very early in my prison time I was baptised by fire. I saw 12 women gang rape another woman. Why?...
What good would it be to have your own women's prison weekly columnist if I held back on some of the most interesting and least known elements of what goes on in this place? I've given this a lot of thought and decided to share some of what I've observed in this place. So please, just for a moment, allow me to take your mind off of COVID-19 and entertain your imagination. We've all been aware of the EDD unemployment fraud. Millions upon millions of dollars going out to fraudulent claims of...
Most people here just float along, knowing their release is comming on a specific date. I don't get that luxury. I dare not imagine the undetermined, unknown day of my release. How old will I be? Where will I live? Who will, if anyone, pick me up at the gates? Will I die in prison?? These questions whisper in my mind as I hammer away at my goals. Goals set by the parole commissioner I met with in December 2019. College. Vocational training. I'm in 10+ self-help classes by mail. Each yielding...
I'm not a fan of holidays while in prison. No mail. Nothing on TV. Time seems to slow down. The state of California usually opens up visiting for the specific holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Day, and on July 4th. Obviously that's not happening this year. I did not get visits before the pandemic began. But on days when visiting was going on, there was much more positive energy and excitement. So, time did not feel so empty. Aside from that, any holiday is just a regular day....
Dateline NBC...48 Hours on CBS...We love to watch them. We love to hate those featured in them. Both shows feature a large number of cases from here in California. Do you ever wonder what happens after they catch, convict and sentence those who committed crimes worthy of being featured in an hour-long, riveting TV show?? Specifically, the women involved. Well, when society flushes the toilet, women only have 2 prisons in California. I'm in the oldest one in the state. With some of the most famou...
The Trans-Wave has hit the prison system! When you imagine a day in my life here in prison, you probably did not think it included so many men living in this women's prison population. It began about 4-5 years ago. Now, it's on steroids, literally. Have you ever wondered how some women with no outside financial support manage to get by?? There is plenty of Men I walk past daily. Sometimes, l forget where l am. Man, have I got a tale to tell... Right now, in this women's prison and in men's priso...
Most people have no clue what prison is like, especially a female prison. All these vaginas in here that have not had any attention in years can make some men think of ways to exploit this untapped (pun intended) potential. If this title seems interesting, it should. I'm about to show you a whole new form of predation. If this title OFFENDS YOU, then I think we both know you're probably one of them?? Get ready for your weekly fix of fascinating reading only I, Ms. Amber Shaina Jackson, can...
As a child in foster care at 12 years old, I began writing poems. I continued this into my juvenile hall years. I wrote many. I use writing as a form of therapy and expression. Here in prison, when someone makes me really mad, I'll write a song about them to get it off my chest. Would it surprise you to know that I used to Rap? I outgrew it. Now my therapy is talking to all of you each week! I learned to paint in 2007 in an art class at the now closed Valley State Prison for Women. Never did...
I wanted to take a moment and just share something deeply personal. You see, I'm a "lifer," about 3-4 years away from freedom. And yes, I will be living in or around Santa Monica. I have been in for 16 years. Sometimes I'm not sure how to feel about freedom or what to pray for. After 16 years in, I don't even remember what it's like to be free. Gavin Newsom had to outlaw Menthol Newport cigarettes and that made me think carefully about this uphill battle for freedom. Just the ability to enjoy...
